Paper Heart

August 8, 2009

I’m kind of dumbfounded by the vitriolic reviews Paper Heart has recieved by some upstanding publications. Too cutesy? Annoyingly coy? Cold and calculating? I don’t get it, did these same people hate Flight of the Concords, Juno, or Pete & Pete, cause that’s the tone I got from the film. But yeah, I guess if DIY puppettry and twee music make you want to commit mass murder, you probably should stay away.

I can’t remember the last time I was this excited to see a film. Don’t let me down Spike Jonze!

The National Board of Review named Slumdog Millionaire the best film of the year. I don’t agree. I don’t think that I’ve seen any movie that came out in 2008 that was better than my 10 favorite films from 2007. Here’s 5 films that might change that trend.

1. Let The Right One In

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The Wrestler

December 26, 2008

Thoughts while watching The Wrestler:

“This technique where the camera is behind Rourke reminds me of a video game. That probably wasn’t the intent, was it?”

“Yikes, Mickey Rourke’s hands are like Andre the Giant’s, they’re just mitts. Is that a result of his boxing days? I wonder how long it would take him to open a soda can…”

“Man, this film is kind of freaking me out about exercising too hard. Seriously, I’m kind of afraid to exercise now.”

“Within the span of half an hour I’ve gone from thinking Marisa Tomei looked pretty good for her age to now thinking her best days may be behind her. Has that ever happened before in the span of one film? I kind of want to watch Seinfeld right now…”

“Great, now I can never order something from the deli counter of the supermarket without thinking someones gonna lose a thumb. Exercising, strip clubs, and the deli counter, want to ruin anything else for me Aronofsky?”

“Huh, I would have thought ‘The Ayatollah’ was going to be a white guy, or at least a middle eastern looking white guy, but hey, I guess it works. In fact, I’m gonna go ahead and say that the movie just bumped up from a B to a B+ based on the inclusion of this character.”

“So, um, is it over? This is kind of a long black screen. I mean, it must be over, right, am I the only one who’s confused? I really liked that last song that was just playing, was it Explosions in the Sky? They should have done the whole soundtrack, I think that would have got me to an A- overall.”

Quantum of Solace

December 14, 2008


Thoughts while watching Quantum of Solace:

“Wow, we’re less than a half hour into the movie, and I feel like there’s been about two pages worth of dialog and a hundred million dollars worth of action sequences. So far my expectations are being exceeded.”

“This is probably intentional, but I don’t think a movie has ever made me want to buy sunglasses more than this has so far. I’m guessing the cheapest pair worn is around $200.”

“What’s the deal with this girl’s back scar? Is that going to be explained or is it like the scar on the arm of the Top Chef host’s arm, it’s just there. I kind of like the idea of it not being explained.”

“So James Bond is basically the Hulk in this movie, right? So far he’s ripped off a metal door handle without flinching and also flipped a motorcycle with one arm… I love it.”

“This CIA agent looks exactly like Phil Jackson, if PJ was about 20 years younger and 20 pounds heavier. Still…”

“Just ‘Fields’? I feel like we’re getting set up for some horribly cheesy innuendo of a name, but what could you add to ‘Fields’? I’m guessing ‘Strawberry,’ but that doesn’t really have a sexual connotation, does it? I’m googling that right now.”

“Why is this woman walking barefoot through the desert, she should just rip the heels off her shoes or something. That seems unnecessarily painful.”

“Does Canada really have a secret service, and if so, why is this lady in Russia, and what does that have to do with this guy? I’m totally confused by this scene…wait, is that the end? Seriously, what just happened? Hmm.. I still kind of like this better than the last one.”

Thoughts while watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist:

“I wonder what Michael Cera’s going to look like after he goes through puberty. How long can you play a high school/college kid?”

“This Norah girl seems stoned in every scene. Is that her acting style? She also kind of has a deep voice. She’s basically a Jewish Scarlett Johansson.”

“I can’t stand this drunk girl. Seriously, this is disgusting. I get that the gum is supposed to be a character too, but that was awful….”

“Wow, is that the guy from Knocked Up? He looks like his own older, taller brother. Jeez, what year did that movie come out?”

“Ok, I know that was supposed to be the ‘bait and switch’ bad band, but that was my favorite song in the movie so far. I wonder if I can find a clip on youtube.”

“Is that Devendra Banhart? I like that jacket he’s got on… is it a jacket? Looks kind of like a poncho. I like it.”

“Maybe it’s that clip I just saw the other day, but Andy Samberg is a dead ringer for Mark Wahlberg. I don’t know if I could stand him for the whole film, but he really should have been on screen longer than a minute.”

“New York looks like San Francisco. This movie kind of makes me feel young and old at the same time.”

“This is basically like 200 Cigarettes meets Juno. It’s not bad, just kind of, I don’t know…”

Synecdoche, New York

September 27, 2008

Charlie Kaufman’s new movie about a theater director who tries to create a life-size replica of New York inside a warehouse sounds more interesting than anything else I’ve heard of that’s coming out this year. The trailer reminds me of Brazil for some reason. I’m into it.